Halloween!
by qweens-of-messie-land
Summary: What do vampires do on halloween? Edward is away and Bella is bored, answering the door to trick or treaters! What will happen when a mysterious bronze haired vampire comes to the door? MILD LEMONS Written by werewolves-like-baking an i'll-bake-for-edward


_**This has been re-posted!!!**_

**First of all, I am truly sorry for the last attempt at this!!! It went so wrong, I just deleted it and will now re-post!!!**

**This was written by werewolves-like-baking and i'll-bake-for-edward. So we hope that you enjoy it and hope you had a happy Halloween!!!**

**Disclaimer:we don't own anything, isn't it sad!!!**

Halloween!

_**Bella's POV:**_

_October 31st _

'Halloween marvelous. As if it wasn't bad enough; Jake was in a bike accident and is now having to fake being very injured (although he is completely fine) and Edward is out running around in the country somewhere whilst I'm stuck here looking like a right fool ready to give kids with dreadful vampire and werewolf outfits, that bear no resemblance to the actual things, candy! But of course, I couldn't say anything right, they only come for the 'treats'! Sadly they also have artistic license!

Ahh, great, look at this lot! Little boy; glow in the dark plastic fangs, high collar on his black cape. He thinks he's so cool! I have to bite my tongue so I don't say anything stupid whilst I give out this vile stuff that these "vampires" seem to love.

"Be cheerful, it makes them happy" Esme says, why doesn't she do it then? I'll tell you why, because she's upstairs having "fun" with Carlisle, bleugh! It makes me feel sick! But oh no, everyone else is allowed to be with their partners doing whatever and whoever they want, whilst I'm stuck down here being able to hear everything they do or say. Right now Emmett is talking in a French accent because apparently it "turns Rosalie on"! Well Rosalie _will_ be Rosalie!

Anyway I think I'll get changed soon, this costume is starting to rub and well I think it _is_ a little bit too revealing for little children! Honestly, never ask Alice for a favour! UUGH although I think Jasper just did! This is gross, I have to get out of here soon!!

*ding dong*

God, you can actually smell how afraid these children are, revolting, but this child smells familiar!

"Happy Halloween Bel- blimey I only wanted treats... I mean candy...err...err...sweets...!!" Oh for crying out loud what the hell is Mike Newton doing here?

"I know Mike, now will you just take your sweets and stop looking at my breasts please!"

"Oh come on Bells" He said jokingly but reached his hands out in a more... yearning way than I would've liked!

"Get lost Mike!" I slammed the door in his face and turned away. Within seconds the doorbell was ringing again. The horny kid just doesn't give up, does he!!!

I opened the door to find the most gorgeous bronze haired vampire stnading there. His costume was so amazing that he could've just risen straight form his crypt!

"Edward?"

"Bell- oh my god! Talk about vamp-tastic! I didn't know vampires could get implants!"

This confused me, but then I followed his line of sight...

"Errm, no they can't. This costume Alice brought me has a built in push-up bra, i think!"

"Whatever, errm... are you by any chance bored of opening the door?" he said in a sultry voice that just about made me melt on the spot.

"You bet! Why what're you thinking?"

"same thing all of those other couples are!"

"OKAY! This is strange, I never thought that discussing Esme and Carlisle doing "it" would be a turn on but wow! It _is_ one hell of a turn on!"

He turned those burning eyes to mine and out stretched a hand. Before I had a chance to think he roughly grabbed me and I felt myself flying through the woods 'till I was slammed against a tree where he began kissing me with such a hunger, such passion. I pushed against him until he gave in, I spun us around until we plummeted to the ground. I tore at his shirt until only the cuffs were left I then scraped my nails down his perfectly formed torso, he grunted with pleasure and tenderly tore shreds out of my costume!! Now I know why Alice picked this outfit and to be honest, I'm glad!

_**Jacob's POV:**_

I walked into the woods aimlessly, pretending to be injured was so boring! Suddenly my ears picked up a sound, well a series of sounds- moans, grunts oohs and ahhs to be exact! Normally people chose not to do it in the woods, unless it's one of the leeches! I'm gonna have to go and see!

OH MY HOT AND SEXY JACOB BLACK! Bella and Edward alert Bella and Edward alert! Ewwwww, that's not what I wanted to see! Two naked vampires rolling around in the soil, joined together in numerous ways! Gawd, they _are_ going at it, they haven't even noticed my standing there yet! You'd think that they'd have more courtesy for innocent eyes such as mine! Well not that innocent (Hey, I have to vent my sexual frustration somehow, I _am_ in love with a five year old! Don't be so quick to judge!)!

I actually can't stand this!! Should I say something, no, they would think I'm following them! Maybe I should just err leave before they notice, not that they would being to 'into' each other and all that. Bella screamed out, dear god she still turns me on!! Oh shit did I just think that. Time to go! I turned and started running but I heard silence me, too late he'd heard!

"Jacob, can you come here please?" WHAT? I never knew Edward swing that way!

I turned around to face them- BIG mistake!

"No Jacob you're right! I don't "swing that way"! I would actually like you to turn around, stop staring at my wife's breasts and tell her what you just thought about her!" I hate him!

"And for that you can then show her the delightful bulge that is showing in your pants!"

"Umm... well I kinda said that you turned me on?"

"Gooooood doggy!" He is so patronizing! "Now run along home like a good horn dog!"

"You patronizing filthy le..."I phased as hatred grew inside me.

"JAKE for god's sake calm down before you do that!" Bella screeched whilst Edward rolled around on the ground in convulsions of laughter. Then I realized what the problem was... being a wolf made everything bigger including private parts. Oh shit, I thought. But then I thought about what I could do to Bella with it, that shut him up!

"How dare you imprint on my daughter AND think about my wife like that!" He roared.

So instead, I thought of Nessie (older of course), but that was a bad move for two reasons: 1) It turned me on big style and 2) Edward was there and I would have to make a very, very quick exit!

"Yes wolf! _Very_ quick!" Damn that leech!!!

The good thing was that he was too engrossed in Bella to chase me, the bad thing was that I was heading to a house full of vampires with a huge bulge in my pants! Not good!!!

When I got to the mansion and opened the door, I could see the evil pixie and Jasper highly involved with each other on on Edward's piano. Is everyone getting action tonight but me? The funny thing was thought that they were doing it on Edward's precious piano! Serves him right!!!

"Jakey, Jakey" Nessie' voice chimed in my ear, I turned to be met by a hand in the face, damn I know what she wanted explaining!

"Err, I'll tell you when you're older!" She rolled her eyes and dived into my arms, by that time we were well clear of the piano, god how would I explain that one??

"Jake could I talk to you?" Edward appeared around the corner somehow fully dressed.

It is at these points where really _really_ love Nessie!

"NO daddy Jake is teaching me mechanics!" She smiled at me proudly, whether it was because she said the word (sort of), or she had just gotten me out of a massive load of trouble- temporarily!

Vampires are like elephants!

"And wolves are like big horn dogs!" Edward mumbled.

We sure are daddy Edward, we sure are! I thought with a huge grin on my face! Because- when Nessie's sixteen, he'll see how true that statement actually is!

**So what did you think? Did you love it or hate it? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! Then once you've done that go on to read my (werewolves-like baking)'s stories and Mia (i'll-bake-for-edward) story. We wrote this, so if you like our writing you will definitely like our others!!**


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